Trusting God with Big Decisions

By James M. Rochford

Have you ever felt that your life has a sense of meaning, or maybe that it fits into a larger plan or design? Do you ever sense that you’re a part of something bigger than yourself—a purpose of some kind? Well, there is a reason why you feel that your life has a purpose: It does! The Bible teaches that God has a plan for humanity, and he also has a plan for each individual believer (Jas. 4:15; Eph. 2:10; Ps. 32:8-9).

Four Types of Decisions

There are four major types of decisions that we encounter in life: (1) clear, (2) commonplace, (3) conscience, and (4) complex. It’s helpful to look at each type of decision:

1. Clear Decisions

Clear decisions are important and clear. These are black and white issues that the Bible specifically and even repeatedly addresses. For instance, imagine if a married man was wondering about God’s will regarding sleeping with his neighbor’s wife. This man wouldn’t need to pray about discerning God’s will for this decision! He doesn’t need “a word from the Lord,” because God has already spoken to him about this in the Bible.

2. Commonplace Decisions

Commonplace decisions are neither important nor clear. These are insignificant issues that the Bible doesn’t address. For instance, we don’t need to pray about which color Jell-O we should eat when we face this choice in the cafeteria line. In fact, most decisions in life are this way. God simply expects us to make a choice and move on. Obsessing over small decisions like this really demonstrates a low view of God’s sovereignty. Just make a choice, and move on.

3. Conditioned Decisions

Conditioned decisions are unimportant and clear. In fact, they are so clear to us that we often don’t consciously think about them. These are the decisions that are made compulsively through habit and repetition. We’ve often had the experience of “driver’s coma,” where we drive a regular route to work, but don’t really remember actively choosing our route. The only problem with conditioned decisions is when we enter into “functioning” or “auto pilot” when it comes to important matters like our relationships or our ministry.

4. Complex Decisions

Complex decisions are decisions that are important and unclear. That is, these types of decisions aren’t explicitly mentioned in Scripture, but they could have serious ramifications. For instance:

“Where should I work?”
“What career or degree should I pursue?”
“Should I go back to school, or try to get a job?”
“Whom should I date or marry?” or “Should I get married?”
“Should we have kids?”
“Where should I buy a house?”
“What city should I live in?”
“Should I try to plant a church in a different city, or should I build a ministry here in this city?”

Anyone who has wrestled through questions like these quickly discovers that they are just as important as they are often quite unclear. We might characterize these four different decisions in this way:

Regarding complex decisions, we often hear Christians claim, “I just feel a calling…” or “I just know that God would want this for me…” But how do we know this? If you were lost, you’d want to know that your GPS or your compass was properly calibrated to get you on track. Are there ways to learn God’s will effectively? Likewise, are there ways to stray from the track God has for us?

Common Errors

Before we offer healthy methods for learning God’s will in complex areas of life, let’s consider several approaches that can easily lead us astray. God expects us to use clear thinking when making decisions in complex areas. This is why we are told to be “transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is” (Rom. 12:2). Indeed, if we fall for these mistaken methods, we could find ourselves in trouble when making complex decisions.

ERROR #1: “God’s will for complex decisions is the same for every believer.”

This simply isn’t true. There are no “cookie cutter” approaches for all Christians when it comes to complex decision-making. Since the Bible isn’t crystal clear on these issues (e.g. marriage, career, etc.), it is wrong to declare that the answers to complex decisions are the same for every believer. If this were the case, then God would have given universal, moral commands about these decisions. But he didn’t. For this reason, we should be careful not to “exceed what is written” (1 Cor. 4:6).

For instance, consider the question: “Which city should I live in?” The Bible gives conflicting examples. Both Jesus and Paul were itinerant teachers, travelling from city to city. However, Paul travelled all the way to Italy and likely Spain (Rom. 15:24), while Jesus only travelled within Israel. Peter stayed in Israel for much of his ministry, but eventually made it as far as Greece later on (1 Cor. 1:12; 3:22; 9:5). By contrast, the apostle James seemed to have stayed put in Jerusalem for his entire life. Clearly, some people are called to go, and others are called to stay. It would be wrong to make universal, moral commands that demand one or the other.

We do not feel comfortable saying that there are inviolable rules for each of these questions—only biblical principles and reasons for adopting one option over another. We should seek the wisdom and opinion of Christian friends and leaders in our lives (Prov. 11:14; 12:15). However, we reject the idea that leaders have any kind of command or control over what we may decide. Oswald Sanders wisely writes, “We should never allow others, however much we respect their counsel, to make our decisions for us. It is our future which is involved, and we must take the responsibility.”[1] As adults, we need to learn to make our own decisions, and accept both the responsibility and the consequences for what we decided.

ERROR #2: “We don’t need to worry about complex decisions. God will work it out somehow.”

This is a “super-spiritual”[2] view of complex decision-making. “Super-spirituality” is a view that doesn’t have a high regard for human agency. For instance, a super-spiritual believer might say, “God is sovereign, so I don’t need to share my faith. If God wants that person to come to Christ, then God will make it happen!” Of course, this is partially true, but totally false: God is sovereign, but he sovereignly chose to use people like us to share Jesus’ message of love and forgiveness (Mt. 28:18-20; Acts 1:8; 1 Cor. 3:9; 2 Cor. 5:20; Rom. 10:14). Therefore, while this believer appears to be trusting God, he is actually defying what God says in his word. As we will see, we surely affirm the sovereignty of God, but recognize that has sovereignly given us the responsibility to make meaningful choices.

Interestingly, the super-spiritual believer only “trusts God” in this way when it comes to important decisions that are spiritual—not secular. For instance, imagine if we applied this perspective to other important areas of life:

Should we counsel college students not to study, because “God will work it out somehow” for their final exam?
Should we tell the unemployed person to stop looking for a job, because “God will work it out somehow”?
Should we counsel a young man to get married to his girlfriend after their first date, because “God will work it out somehow”?

Do you see the point? It’s odd that we would apply a criterion to spiritual decisions that we wouldn’t apply to any other decision in life. Like all other important decisions, we should have a high regard for personal responsibility and thoughtful reflection.

ERROR #3: “Romans 8:28 promises that God will cause ‘all things to work together for the good.’”

Paul writes that God will cause “all things to work together for good” (Rom. 8:28). Super-spiritual believers sometimes cite this verse to stamp God’s approval on a choice that they want to make. But not so fast! Try reading the entire verse: “We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” This promise only applies to those who are committing to “love God” and are pursuing “His purpose,” not their own purposes.

ERROR #4: “The Bible never tells us what to do with these complex decisions, so they are morally neutral. Therefore, it is legalistic to have a strong opinion about these decisions.”

It’s quite true that the Bible doesn’t give us clear cut answers to these difficult questions. However, this doesn’t mean that we should consider them unimportant or morally neutral. Many complex decisions are very important and incredibly significant. In fact, the NT claims that we will be held responsible for our decisions in these areas. James writes:

(Jas. 4:13) Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.”

This statement sounds much like the thinking of the super-spiritual believer: “If I can make a higher salary, why wouldn’t I move to a new city for a year or so? After all, God exists everywhere, so I’m sure he’ll be in that city too.” However, James writes:

(Jas. 4:14) Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.

This is quite a different perspective on our lives: Our time on Earth is short, and we don’t know the future. We might think that living for a year of profit isn’t that big of a deal, but we have so few years here on Earth that we need to make all of them count. This is why Paul tells us to “make the most of our time” here on Earth (Eph. 5:16). James continues:

(Jas. 4:15) Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.”

The context of this statement is figuring out a complex decision (i.e. “What city should I live in?”). James argues that God has a will for this, and we are responsible for discovering it. He expects his readers to know that they should be seeking God to make big decisions like this. He continues.

(Jas. 4:16-17) But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. ¹⁷ Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.

God holds us responsible for these complex decisions. So much so, that we could “know the right thing to do” and still “not do it.” James labels this as “evil” and as “sin.” That’s strong language! If complex decisions are morally neutral, then why would James use language like this?

Of course, the sin here is not choosing to live in this city or that. Instead, the sin is the arrogance of being in the driver’s seat of our lives, and telling God that he can tagalong in the backseat if he wants. To a biblically trained mind, this is foolish. There isn’t a single verse in the Bible that teaches that Jesus is looking to be your follower! The Bible is clear that we follow Christ—not the other way around. We should give complex decisions the gravity that they deserve.

ERROR #5: “I’ve made unwise decisions in the past, and God worked through them. God can work through an unwise decision in the future too.”

We couldn’t agree more with this statement—at first glance. God regularly works miracles of grace in our lives, despite our sinful decisions. However, we shouldn’t expect God to always fix our unwise or even immoral decisions.

For instance, consider a young man who sleeps with his girlfriend on Prom Night, and she becomes pregnant. Yet, God uses that event to change the young man’s life: He decides to get serious about following Christ, he marries his girlfriend, and he turns into a loving and responsible father.

Now flash forward in time. Suppose that the man later said, “When I had premarital sex with my girlfriend, it changed my life forever. It pushed me toward Christ, led to a great marriage, and now we have a wonderful family… That’s why I tell everyone that they should impregnate their girlfriends too… It’s the best choice you’ll ever make!”

Of course, this would be the wrong lesson to draw from this story! While God did work graciously through this situation, this doesn’t warrant making the same mistake in the future. Of course, this story involves a clear moral teaching of Scripture—not a question of wisdom (1 Cor. 6:12-20; 1 Thess. 4:1-4). But hopefully you don’t miss the point: God often works through our poor decisions, but this doesn’t warrant making similar foolish decisions in the future, some of which are irreversible (Heb. 12:16-17).

ERROR #6: “I want to know God’s will for the rest of my life.”

God doesn’t work this way, and even from our limited vantage point, we should be glad that he doesn’t. Most likely, God refrains from giving us too much leading, because it could very well scare us away from following him in the long term. When I first met Christ, imagine if God had told me that I would eventually become a vocational Bible teacher and leader. I would’ve either laughed out loud, or run away in horror. This would’ve been either too absurd or too intimidating for me to handle.

We need to be content with only getting enough direction for the immediate future—not the long term. The psalmist states that God’s word “is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Ps. 119:105). Of course, lamps only show us a few steps ahead. This serves as a good picture for us in learning the will of God. While we might desire a searchlight that shines miles down the road, this isn’t God’s way. When we feel this way, we need to focus more on doing what’s right in front of us, rather than daydreaming or worrying about what awaits us.

Moreover, while God might lead us in one direction this year, this might change next year. Part of discerning God’s will is being humble enough to continue to listen. Sometimes, we will sense that God has led us to a certain place. But this doesn’t mean he wants to leave us there forever. He may have brought us from point A to point B in order to bring us from point B to point C. In other words, God might have called you here in order to later get you there.

Suppose God gives you a clear calling to serve the poor in your city. He uses these years to break your prejudices, grow your love, sharpen your discernment, and impact many people’s lives. Later, God might use all of that spiritual growth to prepare you for working with the poor in other countries—perhaps in missions. We don’t know. The point is that we need to be flexible to go where God is currently calling us, and to have the humility to assess (and often reassess) God’s direction for our lives.

Ways to Discern God’s Will

How can we discern the will of God for these very complex decisions? There are at least five different ways that prove helpful.

#1: Scripture

While Scripture might not give us explicit direction on complex decisions, it shouldn’t be underestimated or minimized regarding God’s will. Often, believers are confident that Scripture is silent on their decision, so they never even think to look. But this contradicts the psalmist, who says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Ps. 119:105). Indeed, Scripture is the final arbiter in making our decisions, and quite often, it contains principles and a framework through which we can make our complex decision.

Christian decision-making doesn’t result from the emptying of the mind, but the filling of it. Paul prayed for the Colossians to be “filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (Col. 1:9). A mind trained in Scripture is a mind filled with wisdom (Col. 3:16), and this is precisely what we need to help us make tough choices. Meditation on Scripture will help us to bear spiritual fruit (Ps. 1:1-3), and regular reading will build our faith and our desire to follow God (Rom. 10:17). Regarding this principle, we should ask:

(1) What biblical passages might shed light on this complex decision?

(2) Am I interpreting these passages in context? Or am I just plucking verses out of context to support my own thoughts?

(3) Does Scripture directly speak to this question, or are there any biblical principles might help guide my decision?

#2: Prayer

The Gibeonites tricked the men of Israel into making a deal with them, and God allowed this to happen. Why? We read that they “did not ask for the counsel of the Lord” (Josh. 9:14). If they had only prayed, they wouldn’t have fallen into this trap. Likewise, James instructs us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (Jas. 1:5). Moreover, many prayers for guidance can be found in the Psalms (Ps. 5:8; 19:12-14; 25:4-5, 21; 27:11; 31:3-4; 86:11; 119:5, 10, 35-36, 80, 133, 176; 141:3-4). This principle raises several questions:

(1) Have I prayed about this complex decision?

(2) How much time have I spent in prayer about this major life change?

(3) Like Jesus, have I prayed that God’s will would be done in this area of my life? Or do I honestly still feel like I’m wrestling with trusting Christ in this area?

#3: Mature Counsel

Mature Christians often help us to gain more of an objective perspective. I’ve quite literally spent hours on complex decisions, but still felt unclear on which direction to go. Then, after conferring with a friend or two, my blind spots are revealed to me, and I often see the issues more clearly. This must be why the Bible speaks so much about the need for wise counsel:

(Prov. 11:14) In an abundance of counselors there is safety.

(Prov. 12:15) The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

(Prov. 15:22) Without counsel plans go wrong, but with many advisers they succeed.

(Prov. 19:20) Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom for the future.

(Prov. 20:5) The purpose in a man’s mind is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.

(Prov. 20:18) Plans are established by counsel; by wise guidance wage war.

(Prov. 24:6) By wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.

(Prov. 27:17) Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Solomon repeatedly states that we should seek wise counsel. This means seeking out mature believers who will do their best to offer God’s perspective. We should avoid seeking out those who will only tell us what we want to hear. If this is our motive, why go through the charade to even bother asking anyone at all?

Reggie Lewis serves as a potent illustration of this principle. In 1993, Lewis was a famous basketball star for the Boston Celtics, until his team of doctors told him that he had a fatal heart ailment. Lewis pursued other medical counsel, until he found a doctor that would classify his condition as a “benign fainting disorder.” Lewis got the counsel that we wanted to hear. Unfortunately, he died three months later while shooting baskets at Brandeis University. Sadly, his story is illustrative of many who go “searching for counsel,” when really all they want is an “echo chamber” that will tell them what they wanted to hear.

#4: Reason

This may or may not surprise us, but one of the primary ways for learning the will of God is to think about it. Sometimes, God will give us supernatural revelation or encouragement regarding his will. But in our experience, this is quite rare. Even in the NT, this wasn’t the norm. For instance, in his excellent book Knowing the Will of God (1991), Blaine Smith writes,

In the overwhelming majority of decisions noted in the New Testament God’s will was discerned through a reasoned decision. Human reason was the channel through which God’s will was normally known; discerning his will boiled down to a matter of making a sound, logical choice.[3]

Smith uses the term “sanctified reason”[4] to describe the way believers should think through complex decisions. He offers several biblical examples of this.[5] For instance, in Romans 15, Paul explains that he made plans for his missionary journeys. Yet, as you read this text, notice the lack of “spiritual language.” He doesn’t say that he had to hear a message from God in order make a complex decision. Instead, he made a rational and strategic plan based on what would be best for spreading the message and love of Christ. Paul writes:

(Rom. 15:19b-25, 32 NLT) In this way, I have fully presented the Good News of Christ from Jerusalem all the way to Illyricum. ²⁰My ambition has always been to preach the Good News where the name of Christ has never been heard, rather than where a church has already been started by someone else. ²¹I have been following the plan spoken of in the Scriptures, where it says, “Those who have never been told about him will see, and those who have never heard of him will understand.” ²²In fact, my visit to you has been delayed so long because I have been preaching in these places. ²³But now I have finished my work in these regions, and after all these long years of waiting, I am eager to visit you. ²⁴I am planning to go to Spain, and when I do, I will stop off in Rome. And after I have enjoyed your fellowship for a little while, you can provide for my journey. ²⁵But before I come, I must go to Jerusalem to take a gift to the believers there… ³²Then, by the will of God, I will be able to come to you with a joyful heart, and we will be an encouragement to each other.

Consider another example. In 1 Corinthians 16, Paul makes a strategic plan for his travel plans. Of course, he is open to God correcting him if he is wrong (“If the Lord will let me” v.7). But notice that he doesn’t make his decisions based on any supernatural guidance. Instead, he determined God’s will based on those who were coming to Christ in the city (“wide-open door” for ministry). This is what led Paul to stay longer:

(1 Cor. 16:5-9 NLT) I am coming to visit you after I have been to Macedonia, for I am planning to travel through Macedonia. ⁶Perhaps I will stay awhile with you, possibly all winter, and then you can send me on my way to my next destination. ⁷This time I don’t want to make just a short visit and then go right on. I want to come and stay awhile, if the Lord will let me.⁸In the meantime, I will be staying here at Ephesus until the Festival of Pentecost. ⁹There is a wide-open door for a great work here, although many oppose me.

Likewise, when looking to recognize leaders for service, the NT offers objective criteria above anything else. For instance, Paul told Timothy and Titus to look for leaders of good character—an objective criterion (1 Tim. 3:1-13; Tit. 1:5-9). The apostles chose Silas and Barsabbas to deliver their letter, because they were “leading men among the brethren” (Acts 15:22). Paul chose Timothy as a missionary because “he was well spoken of by the brethren who were in Lystra and Iconium” (Acts 16:2). Earlier, Paul split from John Mark because of his past desertion on their missionary journey (Acts 15:38). In none of these examples do we read about a light shining down from heaven to pick a person to lead. Instead, Paul made choices based on character and effectiveness. Thus Smith writes, “Paul regarded rational judgment of a person’s qualities as the prime factor constituting a call to Christian leadership.”[6] Likewise, Oswald Sanders writes, “The Holy Spirit guides us by quickening our discernment and enlightening our judgment, not by superseding it.”[7]

We should hasten to add that sometimes God has a better plan than what we can create from our finite perspective (Prov. 16:8). For instance, the Holy Spirit told Philip to go to a desert road in the middle of nowhere—even while a great revival was occurring in Samaria (Acts 8:26). Also, when Paul made a good and reasonable decision to preach the gospel in Asia, the Holy Spirit blocked this from happening (Acts 16:6).

Sometimes after a long period of thoughtful, reasonable, and prayerful reflection, we can still make a decision that God will want to override. In these cases, we can trust that God will “close a door,” so to speak. If we stubbornly push our agenda, God will also allow us to choose our own path. But if we are really searching for his will, we can be confident that he will stop us in order get our attention. Smith writes, “While God can, if he chooses, lead us contrary to reason, we may trust that in such cases he will make his directions unmistakably clear.”[8] We don’t believe that God will lead us “contrary to reason,” as Smith says. Rather, God will sometimes have a greater reason than we might perceive. In these cases, we should be sensitive to God’s leading.

Getting practical is often helpful. For instance, Sanders writes, “It is for us to glean all the information available, and then to carefully weigh up the pros and cons before coming to a decision.”[9] We agree with this view, and feel that it is often helpful to write a four square chart of the pro’s and con’s of our decision. In addition to such a chart, we might ask several questions about our decision:

Which side has possible reward, and which side has probable reward?
Which side is more of a risk? Which side is more of a certainty?
Who seeks to benefit from this decision? Me or the cause of Christ?
Which takes a back seat? Me or the cause of Christ?

When we view our decision in this way, it can often become clear which way we should choose.

#5: Personal Desire

The Proverbs do warn us to be careful about our own inclinations. For instance, we read the haunting words, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” (Prov. 14:12 NIV). But, of course, this doesn’t mean that all personal desire is, therefore, sinful. The Bible affirms that our personal desires should factor into our decision-making (Rom. 15:23-24; 2 Tim. 1:4; 1 Cor. 7:9; Ps. 37:4), and our spiritual gifts and abilities also play a big role in what we will decide. However, personal desire is mentioned last because it shouldn’t be the central factor driving our decisions.

Conclusion

It isn’t enough to know God’s will; we need to be willing to do God’s will as well. In fact, willingness is much more important than even knowing God’s will: “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing” (Ps. 143:10 NLT). Often times, God will make his will very clear to us, but we need to ask ourselves: Am I willing to follow God down this particular path? It is certainly biblical to pray about God’s will, but most of our time should be spent praying that God would give us the strength and courage to follow him. We often need less information, but far more application.

The Bible teaches that God will lead us like a Shepherd leads his sheep (Jn. 10; Heb. 13:20; 1 Pet. 2:25; 5:4; Mt. 9:36; Ps. 23). This is comforting, because sheep are incredibly stupid animals! Therefore, we should spend less of our time anxiously fretting over God’s special will and more time praying for the strength we need to follow Christ—wherever he leads us.

Do you really want to follow God’s will? This is the safest place in the world to be! Paul writes that God’s will is “good, pleasing and perfect” (Rom. 12:2 NIV). Personally, I can’t remember a single time that I followed God’s will and regretted it. But I can think of many times where I resisted God’s leading, and bitterly regretted it! If God really loved us enough to give us his Son, why would we believe that he would hold back on anything else (Rom. 8:32)?